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The perfect bite

A message that has often recurred in my life is the importance of self-love. The reality that has often been my experience, however, is that this can be rather difficult at times. I believe wholeheartedly in what so many people say, that self-love is essential to our well-being and to our health and that it has a positive effect on most things in our lives: the choices we make, the relationships we have and the boundaries we set.

But when I see and listen to people around me, I also understand that this is not always the obvious or easiest path to take. When something turns out differently than we thought, when we experience setbacks or obstacles, when we say or do something that we later regret, it can be closer to hand to be hard on ourselves. Letting our inner judge and our inner critic steal the show. And choosing to believe what they say.

At that moment, when our autopilot starts informing of everything that is wrong with us, choosing something else – another interpretation, another reaction, another thought or action – is no small thing. It's a muscle we may need to exercise in order for self-love not to merely become a nice concept but something that actually makes a difference in our life, in our relationships and in how we feel.

In my own life, I have often found it easy to compromise and postpone self-love, in thought as well as in action, and it has become "something I will get better at one day". The problem is that this day will never come, because most of the time self-love is not about doing one big action and be done, but it is through the small things in our everyday life that we choose kindness towards ourselves. I have to choose the same thing pver and over, as is often the case when we want to create a new habit in life.

But then the other day I thought of a self-love habit that I actually do have and which I never compromise. At every meal – whether it's something advancely prepared or a piece of toast on the couch – I make every bite the perfect bite. Many years ago, I watched a movie, The Mirror Has Two Faces. In one scene, one of the characters, played by Barbra Streisand, sits with a man at a table and they talk about how she, when putting food on her fork, creates the perfect bite.

I do the same thing. I'm not someone who loves cooking, but I like how different flavors fit together, and regardless of what is on my plate, I make sure it comes out evenly. When I look at this from the outside, I realize that it may sound strange and time-consuming, but for me this is an area of ​​life where self-love is my autopilot, my default mode. It is a time where I choose kindness, self-care and joy regardless of what else is going on in my mind.

What does an act of self-love mean to you?

I have decided that 2024 is the year when there will be more space for self-love in my life. But I also know that these spaces need to be fairly small to begin with in order for me to keep choosing them and not automatically de-prioritize them in favor of other things that come up along the way. Because "other things that come up along the way" will always be there, both in the form of things to do and inner critics with opinions. And self-love, choosing oneself, needs a place even when life is busy and loud.

I have therefore created a three-month love marathon that will start on January 16. These are short, small daily tasks that can be done in a couple of minutes. Sometimes it can be something to do, sometimes something to reflect on or write down. There is no demand, only an invitation, and the purpose is that it is recurring: that one gets to stay in the inspiration and motivation until self-love feels like something as important and valuable as everything else in life. Do you want to join in? Write to me on Messenger or email me at, and you will receive an inspirational weekly email starting January 16.

I wish you a very happy and loving new year!



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