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Which way am I actually going?

"Two feet but three pedals...", I remember thinking when I first got behind the wheel to start learning how to drive. "I can't accelerate and brake with the same foot, can I?" The confusion must have been written all over my face because even before I had time to ask the question out loud, I received my answer: "Yes, but not at the same time..."

Sometimes it's a blessing that learning and practicing are mandatory before we are allowed to do something on our own. I eventually learned how to drive a car, but when I look back on my life I can clearly see how occasionally, I have actually done just that - pressed the gas pedal and the brake at the same time. Luckily not when being out on the roads, but in life in general and the experience that followed was like I was getting nowhere, like something was standing in the way.

For me, this has not been about not having a vision, goals and dreams. Many times I even had the tools and the map required to be able to get where I wanted to go. But there has been a "but". To want something, but... To feel called, but... To absolutely take a few steps forward, but...

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this. The American author and speaker, Marianne Williamson, once wrote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?"

I think that many times when we press the gas and the brake at the same time, we do it unconsciously and it becomes a way for us to take care of ourselves, a way to create a feeling of safety. It may sound strange, especially if we long for excitement, freedom, new horizons or change. And especially if we feel ready and prepared. But pressing the gas pedal - taking new steps in life - means that we are moving towards something that is often unknown or unexplored, but also that we are leaving things behind.

Sometimes it is invaluable and absolutely necessary to stop where we are and what we are doing. To tune in, land, reflect, orient ourselves. And sometimes we may need to be still for quite some time. But I don't think we are meant to stay there. And I know that feeling stuck and like we're getting nowhere is actually often a stepping stone in disguise to new and positive things in life. Many times we are much closer to what we desire than we think.

So what can we do? For me, it has often been about leaning towards trust as much as can, to keep taking steps forward even when the whole ladder is not visible. But sometimes we may also need to take a look at what we feel slows us down and holds us back. When we allow ourselves to step back and listen to what messages these obstacles hold for us, this often comes with a gift that can come in many different suites, some of which are healing, trust, understanding and joy. Not to mention a path forward towards new possibilities.

Do you feel it's time to ease off the brakes and move past what keeps you stuck in your life but you'd like a bit of support? This is something we can do together in coaching sessions. You're welcome to read more on this website to get a feel for whether this might be something for you.

In warmth,


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